Contentment

Don't you just cringe at that words sometimes??? :) I know I do - it usually means there is usually something in my life that I have to work HARD on! :) I have been reading the book Calm My Anxious Heart for my Bible reading. It's SO good and SO convicting! It reaches so many areas of my life that need to be worked on. One of the big things that has stuck out to me lately is when she talks about a list that has helped her in being content. A couple of the points are never wish your life (or anything)was different than it is right now, and don't complain about anything - not even the weather. Yea, ouch! :) How many of us complain on a daily basis that it's too hot or too cold or too windy or too cloudy etc.... That frame of mind boggles me but it's so true!! The point of not just talking about the weather but all the little things in life I complain about with makes it even easier to complain about the bigger things.

I have really had to work on this in our present situation. I miss my husband LIKE CRAZY! All I want is for him to leave in the morning AND (this is the kicker) come home at night! It so hard to have him away. I tend to sink into a little depression mode. I get WAY overwhelmed with the kids and just get unhappy about life. But, as I know and have been learning about, that's NO way to live this life the Lord has blessed me with. I need to be joyful because of HIM not because of my circumstances. I need to see the blessing in the Lord providing Jason with a great job and taking care of us. I have been learning not to compare my lot with others, "well so and so's husband doesn't have to leave them all the time!" That may be true - but God has a different life laid out for me and my family. I also need to remember how CRAZY hard this is on Jason! He has to work in AWFUL weather conditions 10-12 hours a day. Be away from the kids and miss out on all the things they do! (It KILLS him to be away from the babies! He is an amazing Dad!) He has to be away from me which I know he hates. He lives with four other guys in yucky motel rooms and eats awful food the whole time he's gone. My point is it's really rough on him, probably worse than what I am doing! But you know, he doesn't complain! He just does is thing, works so hard and is so faithful to encourage me. Such an example and something for me to strive for!

I have been working on it, praying about and it's amazing how your perspective changes and things are somewhat easier when you have the right attitude! I am FAR from being where I need to FAR! Especially on hard days like today has been so far! But the Lord is so faithful and patient, He just holds my hand and walks me through! This is what's on my heart.....