Thursday, May 21, 2009

Ahhh...... I don't even know where to start! I am feeling SOSO discouraged as of late! I knew being a Mom of triplets was going to be challenging but right now I wonder what God was thinking when He decided to choose ME to do it. I feel so overwhelmed with parenthood. They have been so fussy lately and I don't know why. Are they hurting, are they sick, just cranky, not enough sleep, do they like me? They just don't seem happy very often and I don't understand why. I feel like already I am not making them happy, like I am doing something so wrong.


They are changing so much and are needing new things I don't know how to change their schedule to make it work right. I am so worn out just trying to get their bottle in them I don't know when to do their solid food. Cameron screems all the time. By the end of the day I am emotionally drained from listening to it. It's so hard to tell if somethings wrong or what's going on in there.


I have always been a pretty patient person - not so much anymore! I feel like I am never patient or loving enough. I feel like I am not cut out for this job.....


BUT - I know the Lord will be my strength, I know I need to turn to him! I am so thankful that I have Him, that I have my wonderfully supportive husband, and so many wonderful helpers that bless me with their time and love. I know I will get through this and I will look back one day and laugh and wish for these days again! I think that is part of my problem, I don't want to regret this time. I don't want to waste my time moping or being discouraged. I want to take joy in this amazingly precious journey I am on and not waste a second of it!!! But some days (and it feels like most days lately) I am struggling to stay above water.

This is kinda a downer spill your guts kinda post. Which is so not me, I am usally pretty private. But, I want to remember it all. I so often put on a happy face, I can handle anything and everything is perfect kinda front. Twenty years from now I want to look back and see the good times and the hard ones and see where I was and how God brought me through. I do love those babies, Cameron Blake and Madison! They are so special to me.

5 comments:

Jannicka said...

Hey Tasha--I know exactly what you mean! Well maybe not exactly, because I only have one baby and not three... but I go through exactly what you're talking about. :) It's hard, I don't feel like I'm a good mom at all. I never had a temper or was as impatient as I am now until Hadley came along, and I don't know why? How is it that these cute adorable little babies can get on our nerves so much sometimes? :) I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I don't have any *words of wisdom* or anything, just wanted you to know that I understand. :) Take care!--Jannicka

Eunice said...

I know how you feel. Peter and Joshua cried the first year. Jerry G. use to say they had an "Altitude Problem" instead of attitude. :) We (Kathy, Jerry, Roger, and I) carried them a lot that first year. Later they were the easiest toddlers to have around.
Thanks for sharing. You always look like you have it all under control. Nice to know your just like the rest of us. :)
I enjoy your blog.
Eunice

Mommy said...

I think that God gives us kids to shape us and mold us! To make us stronger people, stronger Christians, who rely on their God for everything each and every day! I know that parenting has definately done that for me. I'll be praying that God shows you the solutions, the areas in your heart that need growth and gives you the wisdom to become the best mommy, wife and woman of God, EVER! Blessings, Tash... -Amy

Tasha said...

Thanks ladies for the encouraging words! It's so nice to hear. And it's good to remember there are lots of moms out there, and they all struggle from time to time! It's great to have othere moms around!

Dawn Coleman said...

Hi There!
I was just checking my entire blogroll and came across this entry - I'm so sorry to hear things have been rough and I appreciate your honesty! I will be praying for you this week. I know what it is like to have unhappy children and to feel helpless to change it or even inadequate - believe me I know that feeling! Hang in there!
On a practical note...one thing that always was true for my kids is when they were cranky for no reason for an extended period, it was always (always!) an ear infection. But for some reason I never remember this... and just today I took Samara to the doc. after realizing that she has been "not herself" for 2 weeks, and sure enough - ear infection. Just a thought! Some babies can be prone to them, and don't always have the classic symptoms...
Your babies are beautiful!